I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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