We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
