My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
as a side note pls kill me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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