you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the day after is always just damage control
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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