Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
