Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She needs sedatives and a leash
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
