this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
