i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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