I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
