Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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