You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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