Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
