i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
