He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize