she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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