I hate all girls vehemently.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
