I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
