Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How's work?
Spinning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
