the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
