Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
