you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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