It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
