Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
