Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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