She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
