i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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