Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
