She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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