trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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