didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will be naked everywhere
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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