between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
