She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
