Say something about gay babies.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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