What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
