Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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