The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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