I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
