Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
