So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
