His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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