I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
