Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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