i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
