I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
