she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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