at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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