Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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