do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
