too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
