just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
