the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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