he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
