Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
