You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
