I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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