Moan for me like Helen Keller
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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