THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
