I showed him my bush... on skype.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
