Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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