ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize