at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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