help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
