We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
