I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
